Hxdream

I remember when I heard this guy I was seeing tell me that he had never been broken. When I heard that at that time (25), I thought wow… there must be something terribly wrong with me because by that age I was already through the ringer.

My first remembrance of being broken was at a very young age. I was able to feel pain and hold the capacity of feeling it however the world was telling me that pain is unacceptable so I never got to process or express the pain. I simply suppressed and internalized it.

I felt deeply & every punishment physical and non physical , every word of disempowerment that was spewed on me was felt and held deeply.

To hear from a man (or should I say child) that he had never been broken at the doorsteps of 25… I was beyond words. I remember thinking to myself in that moment, “dam this is going to hurt” and by hurt I knew it was going to hurt me…. boy was I right.

The ride with him was the catalyst to my awakening. The needle that broke the camels back. The deepest pain that I allowed myself to experience & let me tell you it was not fun to feel.

So many of us go around trying to avoid pain that we create suffering but what I have found is that pain has a message for you and it’s the evolution to your growth.

The ONLY WAY OUT IS IN!

To leave the matrix you have to be willing to go on that journey within yourself – feeling all the feels.

On the other side of that pain is deep profound love.

How would I know???

I got to & still get to experience it 🙂

It didn’t come from anyone or anything outside of me. The Love came from within me like a lighting rode striking the largest oak tree on earth.

This unconditional love was experienced during my Saturn return (29). It rocked my world so real that I now lead a completely different life.

Once you experience Truth you don’t go back to Lies.

The lies have been deeply embedded into our minds. Minds that were programmed and conditioned by man who lost his way in this world.

I had to experience feeling beyond broken to experience love that was beyond this world.

You may believe that being broken is weak, wrong, or something you don’t want to admit or experience but I have found that it’s only in the broken-ness that you get to experience the depths of your being.

………I now know what that guy was revealing to me when he said he had never experienced heart break in any capacity he was revealing that he was someone who hadn’t yet let himself feel that deeply.

In my opinion he had not built the capacity to hold space for feelings and that’s okay for someone who does not want to feel. For someone who does not want to have an emotional connection with another but for someone like me – that relationship was a dead end from the beginning as far as how far we would be able to go because I was always going to hit a wall and that wall hurt each time.

This in no way means that feeling your feelings will be miserable lol in my opinion being able to feel pain is the opposite of miserable but nonetheless I encourage you to let go of narrating your feelings to shatter the “thought” you have in your mind so that you can experience life beyond the veil.

This is where you will find the authenticity of life. The miracles to this world. God, Divine- Source.

Being beyond the veil is being beyond the thinking mind, its non attachment to your thoughts & full surrender. Let go of the character that plays into the narratives of the mind – story… beyond the thinking and believing.

All unknowns become known to ultimately find out that no knowns exist and for many that can be beyond scary when familiarity is all humans have attached to.

Idk why but in this lifetime we get to experience the unknown in a way that isn’t what most people are accustomed to. In the unknown you will experience a universal known.

If you haven’t felt “broken” then you haven’t felt love and I open up this opportunity for you to explore yourself, to make mistakes, to fail and to feel it all.

We don’t need to keep up the image. Even me myself, I have to remember to let go of the image so that I can be back in that nature of one with TRUTH – this is the truth of me that you will find in the truth of you.

Namaste – The divine in me bows to the divine in you . ALLOW YOURSELF PERMISSION TO BE – Sending you immense love brother.