Hxdream

Why do I feel resistance?

Not sure how to start this one but I will start it with today. I was met with some resistance today. I have been met with this resistance for some time now. Today just happened to be the day I decided to inquire about it.

For me resistance feels scary. I usually am uncomfortable by the fear that I no longer want to look further into it or I don’t want to really go there. I rather close the door on it.

Resistance comes up as fear for me.

I noticed it around this one person. It wasn’t about the person in particular but it was about the truth that they bring. Their truth sets people free but with that freedom change in action is required.

I contemplated just walking away, forgetting about the whole idea of learning the knowledge this person transmits.

I am the avoidant, the runaway type. Just thinking about running away brought comfort & ease into my sphere. Ease from knowing that my comfort will not be disturbed and this comfort was the clear indicator that running away can not be an option for me. My ego wants to stay comfortable but comfortable gets me no where and it’s starts to create dis-ease within my body.

The body needs healthy change to thrive. I don’t mean change on a physical level, although physical change can aid in the process. I mean energetic change. The energy that runs within our body needs movement, it must evolve in order to adapt to the ever changing evolution of life. Without energetic change the body becomes doormat and a breeding ground for dis-ease.

I decided to ask the question,

“Why are you resistant?”

to which I answered,

“because I am scared. There is a fear within me.”

What are you afraid of?

” That I am not good enough”

and just like that I was back to where this journey had once began only this time I am fully aware of the program.

I have been gifted to be able to tap into the deeper parts of me. Being able to go within allows for me to gain wisdom of self. I can ask questions and answer them honestly. There are times when I will ask but the self may not be fully ready to reveal the honest answer so during those periods I give myself rest. Less doing and more stillness.

Resistance if met with inquiry can lead you into new worlds! Literally and metaphorically. Resistance shows you the clear line between the two worlds of the ego and the higher self. When resistance shows up, you will be in a position where a choice has to be made & it will be either conscious or unconscious.

The unconscious Heidi (me) would of walked the other way. Accepted that there was no other path to walk and the door remaining closed. However, the conscious Heidi is aware that there is a path & that path isn’t paved because it is the path of the unknown.

There is no wrong or right with how we meet our resistance. If we choose not to lean-in-to-it then that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you are choosing something wrong. It simply means that you rather keep the door closed and that is absolutely right if that is your choice.

For me the call to lean-in is one that I can not deny. My hunger for change is too big so keeping the door shut cause me to constantly wonder. Curiosity kills the cat (I think that’s the saying but don’t quote me on this one lol)

When I recognized the belief of “Not being good enough.” grief arose. It saddened me to know that this program still lurks in the corners of my mind.

When someone has a belief, they tend to be identified to it even if it’s one they don’t want to have. This can be noticed by observing the way one gets when you try to offer them a new belief. They get defensive and will give you every excuse of why they have their belief and it can not change. They hold on to it like a badge of honor.

The defensiveness is an indication that there’s an attachment to the narrative that surrounds it. For me, yes there is great sadness around this belief but there is no narrative that I am attached to nor are there excuses I am fighting to validate. There is a clear choice I can make around this belief I have.

Either I can believe the program or I can change it. If I choose to believe it then I would simply walk away from the resistance and not challenge it, however, I’ve decide to change the program. I will be walking through the door leaning into the resistance by facing the fear.

The fear is fully submersed around the change. Knowing that this knowledge will change who I am & change my belief from ” I’m not good enough” to ” I am worthy.” The ego is fighting this change on every level possible.

Some say one is worthy once one has proven themselves. For me walking down this path would be proof and that proof would be the change that dissolves the system of lack and opens the gate back up to worth.

As I write this I am starting to feel the change since my heart and mind has been made up.

Here we go!

The war is spiritual. The lack mentality comes from the lower vibrational entities that leach onto our systems. The worth mentality is remembering who you are. Remembering your true nature as it was created in the image of God.

God is all that to which our minds will never be able to fully comprehend & to comprehend we must be willing to lose it all.

I hope this message find you well. The intentions of this share is simply to be a guiding force if needed, a possible remembrance to realign your-self back to your higher-self, or it is simply a reminder that regardless of how you go about your journey that your journey is not wrong and you will always remain in the right hand of God.

Sending you love and peace – Ong Namo